Today was rough or was it?

The BEST broccoli ever.

I started my liquid diet on Friday in preparation for surgery next Tuesday. That's a long time for protein shakes. Don't get me wrong I really like the protein shakes but for whatever reason all I have wanted all day was broccoli. I don't even really like broccoli. Anyways, beside the point. Broccoli is NOT what made my day rough.

I work in the food industry. Which means day in and day out food is everywhere. How can we sale more food? There is food in my email. Food on Facebook and even more food on Pinterest. Food on the free table. Food in the ad. Food in my desk drawer. Food on my monitor and let's not forget the food smells... EVERYWHERE. Ok, so I am probably exaggerating but I think you get my point. I am surrounded by food. Luckily I have surrounded myself with a support group that doesn't tease me about it or try to make it any harder. They don't eat around me and pretty much don't mention that they have eaten, in their life, ever. I don't expect people not to eat but it is easier for me if I can avoid the temptation. Anyways, again, beside the point. Food is NOT what made my day rough.

Yesterday I consumed 760 calories. I am trying to follow my liquid diet exactly. According to the directions from my doctor I am to drink 4-5 protein shakes a day, 32-64 oz calorie free liquid and for break through hunger I can have a high protein - low sugar bar. If I feel that I HAVE to eat something I can have a lean green meal but am to avoid potatoes, rice, cookies, crackers, etc. Ok... I can do this. Anyways, 760 calories consumed and 485 calories burned doing water aerobics which leaves me with net calories of 275. Did ya hear me? 2-7-5. That's not much. What on earth was I thinking?!? I have been tired and sluggish all day. At one point I think I hit delirium but again, NOT what made my day rough.

I, me, myself, Sam, me, I made my day rough. I have every reason in the world to be grumpy and in a bad mood but why should I be? Recent visits to my therapist have shown me that I am the only person that can control my feelings/mood. Yes, I go to a therapist. If you live in the Tyler area and need a recommendation let me know. He is AMAZING. Anyways, the point of all this is that somewhere in my mind I was trying to make this day a rough one and the bigger/better part of my mind said "nope... you have waiting 15 years for this. You have been on THIS particular path for 257 days. Why screw it up now?"

I guess the take away from all of this is... you make yourself happy. You can be on a liquid diet and be sad about it or you can be on a liquid diet and be happy about it... either way you are still on a liquid diet.

p.s. Pie made me steamed broccoli and I think it might have been the best broccoli I have ever had in my entire life. Broccoli is ok because it is green and I felt like I had to have something. ;)

p.p.s. If you have any questions/comments/concerns/random musings please share. I want to be open/honest about this whole process. The good and the bad. :) Besides all that - the only way I know y'all are out there is if you comment.